You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
