it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
