What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's shark week go big or go home
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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