the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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