Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
