You know, be my cock's hype man.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
