i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
