I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
