Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
