508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
