Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
