And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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