no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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