My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He called his prostate his "boner button".
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize