I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Randomize
