You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize