i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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