Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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