Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize