I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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