oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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