He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
