worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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