Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
