If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
This couple is walking their pig around campus
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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