Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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