I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize