You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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