Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
