You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
