spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
