question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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