Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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