I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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