No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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