I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He has the fingertips of a God
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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