You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
