They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
