I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
