lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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