Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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