I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
