Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
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