Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
