Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Best friends brother. Beat that.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
