Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
