I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
