just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
