I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
