Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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