I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
