i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
