So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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