I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
