Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
