so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize