So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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