I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
