do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
