Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
