There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
