He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
