you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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