So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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