Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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