We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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