mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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