i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
