No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
